Motivation, Thy Name Is Woman

I never thought I’d ever lack motivation. Most of my life so far, I’ve been the work hard and play hard kind of guy. Plenty of drive. Clear ambitions. Life mapped out to the moment..

A couple of years ago, I used to have these kinds of conversations:

Acquaintance: So what are you planning to do after college?

Me: Well, once I complete my Computer Science degree with my chosen electives, I plan to do a masters in Financial Engineering or maybe even Quantitative Finance . My eventual aim is to get into an Organizational Strategic Planning role where I can put the specialized skills to use and fully leverage my software engineering-based core competencies.

Acquaintance: o_o

Even through High School, I had the kind of fire in my belly that allowed me to beat 350,000 aspirants to the same college, spending a full two years cramming and working without a break.

College kicks the crud out of that enthusiasm. It just kills that fire in you. The last few months, my motivation has been running lower than a foodie’s on a diet. I’ve become too comfortable with my current place. I’ve become complacent. I’ve become a lazy bum.

I haven’t felt like working.  Exams have been torturous, revision anathema. I haven’t even felt like enjoying. All I’ve felt like doing was curling up on some soft bed and going to sleep.

Well, all that’s going to change, courtesy my girlfriend. Her own dedication was one of the reasons I was attracted to her in the first place. Same fire in the belly. Same ambitious streak. Same drive. We talked last night and it was like an epiphany, like waking up from a trance. It was funny, because we weren’t even talking about anything like that. But something in her tone just caught, and I could feel those forgotten embers firing up again, that monster in there waking up and sniffing the air hopefully.

I guess I realized that this time isn’t coming back. I’m only going to get it once. Let’s make the best of it. Let me squeeze the living daylights out of every single moment. Squeeze for all it’s worth. My motivation is back again and once again, I’m feeling carnivorous. Gotta go out there and hunt.